الاثنين، 23 مايو 2011

Hello bloga, hello la la and hello dolly...

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Hello,

It's strange how this lonely blogosphere works. One quits blogging for a couple of months (the equivalent of centuries in blog time) and then suddenly decides to write again and readers come out of the blogwork.

For example: Barb. Barb posted a comment shortly after I blogged yesterday. It didn't appear that she was a Sexy Lady (I'm sure you're sexy Barb, just not in the Internet porn way) or someone trying to sell viagra as most of my other comment authors have been. Quite frankly, I don't know anyone named Barb. So, Barb, hello! Hopefully you're legitimate and not Eric aka-ing as a female....again.

Let's move on, shall we?

As mentioned before I've taken a rather lengthy hiatus from blogging. Winter in Minnesota has a tendency to kill any creative thinking and since this blog is teeming with creativity, it died along with the first deep freeze. Now, ponderously, it has risen its roaring head and secured yet another riveting interview.

Today Pistola Whipped goes la-la with Lady Gaga:




Pistola Whipped (PW): Good day! Would you like a spot of tea?

Lady Gaga (LG): Hello. Sure, tea would be great.

PW: Oh, golly. I didn't think you'd actually want tea. I don't have any. I thought the British were more polite than to accept tea from a stranger.

LG: That's okay. Let me just text my assistant and he'll bring us some.

PW: Assistant-pfff. The British [Under breath].

LG: Excuse me?

PW: Nothing. Let's start the interview.

LG: I'm ready.

PW: You don't have much in the way of a British accent. Do you work with a trainer to sound more American when you're in America?

LG: I was actually born in New York City. I'm an American citizen.

PW: Oh right. Do they train you to say that too? Like you have this whole American rags to riches, rose to fame story, that sort of thing?

LG: No, I'm an American. Where did you get the impression that I'm British?

PW: Well, you're the offspring of Iman and David Bowie, right?



LG: NO! What? Are you for real?

PW: Yes, of course. I read the first two sentences of almost every article written about you. It invariably begins with, 'Lady Gaga and David Bowie....yadda.'

LG: If you cared to read further you'd discover that David Bowie is not my father. The press likes to compare my musical persona to that of David Bowie's.



PW: I think if the press compared me to a musical persona it would be Barbara Streisand. Don't you think?



LG: [Signs. Starts texting.]

PW: All right. Moving on, your music is almost as remarkable as your fashion style.

LG: I take some offense to that comment. My music is what I'm known for. My style comes second.

PW: Right. So, if you were wearing a pair of Lee jeans and a turtleneck and singing 'Poker Face' people would still listen?

LG: I believe so. Yes.

PW: Do you know Barbara Streisand?

LG: [Signals to assistant, takes of microphone and walks off interview.]

Once again another star interview folks! And I'm sure you all learned something: Lady Gaga is no relation to David Bowie.

Yours very truly,
Lady Pistola-ola

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